Why Chuck Norris needs to put on a bunny suit and make out with me

So you all know how I care not for The Sister In Law.
Well, since The Husband and I signed the international/intergenerational/intercongigal peace treaty, things have been amazing. Even the fact that ALL of our relatives no longer speak to us is actually a thing I revel in. The drama level in our lives has hit near to Defcon 1.
But through the grapevine (translation: Mother in law) I have learned that The Husbands Great Uncle is having medical problems. A mass has been found in a lung - follow ups are required and the family is on this month's issue of Waiting On Test Results monthly.
So the tale goes that Mother in law called Sister in law to relay the news and this is the first thing that trickled from her holier-than-thou-my-organic-fucking-bean-sprout-ass-is-better-than-yours lips:

"Well, if he had just lived healthier..."

Ok, so this is a man who has - like many of the men in the family- supported his family by ranching, driving truck... anything to keep food on the table. This is also a man that drove at all hours of the night when The Husband, Mother in law and Sister in law broke down in the middle of nowhere on their way out to see the family.
This man is a sweet and gentle and loving and respectful as any I have met. That whole generation of their family is rife with good, honest, hardworking people.

So here is where I put it out there, with complete disregard for karma and all other cosmic forces.
I hope this bitch gets cancer or gets hit by a truck.

(missed me, didn't ya??!!)

What good does it do sit up on a high horse and wave your hemp oil ass at everyone in your life? Is being right really that important? Or maybe is being empathetic and at peace with the fact that each person has their own path more important?
Don't get me wrong, I do shudder and cringe in frustration when I see parents loading their carts with half a dozen cases of soda. My kids eat whole grains, I won't buy anything with hydrogenated or high fructose anything.
My kids know what soda tastes like and they prefer juice. Yes, they get the occasional lollipop.
But honestly, is my way of life any better if I make other people feel bad about theirs? She's an Evangelical Health Nazi.


And I know the title has nothing to do with anything. I really have yet to find a reason to title anything that. So there it is.